He Has a Plan: Inside a CPO Open Adoption, Part Two

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This is the second in a series of articles featuring an inside look at one of CPO’s recent adoption success stories. Here’s a link to Part One. Many thanks to Alaina Butler of Inspired Life Photos for the fine photography and conducting the interviews. Also, thanks to the Borg family and their new daughter’s birth mom, Kelly, for being willing to share their story with the world.

Alaina: Tell us a bit about being in the hospital with an open adoption.
Borg Family: From the adoptive father’s perspective, it was a little awkward at first. After walking with Kelly for 7 months, it was awkward at the delivery. I was torn between protecting the heart of my wife and protecting the heart of the woman that is sacrificing her desire and blessing us with a child. Luckily, Sheri and I both prayed at length and had the desire to ensure that Kelly was as blessed and supported as possible. In our mind there was little doubt that Kelly would proceed with the adoption (and we had given it to God anyway). I will never forget the sound of Kelly holding and talking to Harper for the first time and watching a mother take her heart out of her chest and give it to this child that just came from her womb as a gift that cannot be described. Harper will forever have a piece of Kelly’s heart and spirit inside of her.
The rest of the hospital stay was exhausting, exhilarating, heavy, fun, loving, and sorrowful at different times. Harper stayed with us most of the time but would go into Kelly’s room anytime that Kelly wanted her. There were times where Kelly & I (Sheri) would sit on the hospital bed with Harper between us and just weep. They were tears of sorrow and tears of joy. It really isn’t something that can be explained. It’s something that only God could weave together so beautifully. There was always this heavy cloud of anticipation regarding the uncertainty of how the final day would be and what the rest of the process would hold. There were a lot of tears shed both happy and broken but the overall process was good. We were happy to take home our new daughter and broken for Kelly.

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Alaina: Introduce us to little Harper Elizabeth!
Borg Family: Harper Elizabeth was born on June 4, 2014. She weighed in at 7lbs, 5oz and was 19 ¾ inches long. Harper was a blessing from the start. She was very easy during the hospital time and was the glue that held Kelly and us together. We passed her back and forth between the rooms when family would come and when Kelly needed to breaks. Put simply…she was the perfect gift that only God could produce. She has such a big personality. Her smile is contagious and every time I see it, I am reminded of God’s promises to our family.

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Alaina: Any tips for an adopting family going to the hospital for the birth?
Borg Family: Do not enter with any expectations. Go into it with the heart of Jesus focused on serving and making the birth mom feel loved. She is the one making the sacrifice and being broken through the process. Find ways to swallow your pride or anything else that shows up and put her needs before your own. The simple acts of kindness shown to the birth mom during this process can be the difference between a healed heart and broken heart with great consequences. This is a time for the birth mom, birth family, to bond with the baby. Politely let your family and friends know that you would prefer not to have visitors at the hospital, and they can visit when you get home. We called our parents and a few close friends as we were leaving the hospital and they met us at home to meet Harper. That seemed to work out well. It also allowed us to get a bit of rest right as we arrived at home. I would also add that the hospital stay should definitely be discussed prior to the delivery date. Kelly and I (Sheri) talked about who would hold the baby first, who was going to cut the cord, where she would sleep, etc. Some things changed during the stay and we just went with it. We really learned to trust God with everything during the stay. I know it can probably be scary if birth mom wants the baby in her room a lot of the time but we had complete peace with it and never once worried. We also used that time to rest ourselves.


Be sure to check back next to see the final installment in the incredible journey with Kelly and the Borgs!