Each month we will feature a “retro” CPO article, one that is pulled from our archives of quarterly newsletters. Whenever possible we will provide details regarding the author and date of publication.
This month’s Retro CPO article is a letter written to a grieving family at Cheryl’s request. This particular family had recently experienced a stillbirth of the child they had hoped to adopt, something that unfortunately happens on occasion. This letter also can be of comfort to families who have experienced the heartache of an interrupted adoption. It was written in spring of 2007.
Dear Mr. and Mrs. H.,
Last night I had a dream about a baby who died right after birth. In the dream, my wife, Lynn, and I were in the hospital, holding the baby, but the baby couldn’t survive and died.
As I thought about why I was having this dream, I recalled the experience we had about 10 years ago in Hillcrest Hospital, holding a baby girl who was born prematurely- a girl we were planning to adopt. The girl died shortly after birth, as Lynn was holding her. It was a heart tearing time for us, and it took time to overcome the grief of the experience. Lynn still has ongoing contact with the birth mother and grandmother. They consider Lynn one of their closest confidants, and they call her to invite her to birthday parties and such. Our pain was quelled through time and prayer.
But the greatest blessing that came out of this experience is that some months later Cheryl was alerted to a baby that had just been born, and the mother told the hospital staff she wanted to place the baby for adoption. The hospital called Cheryl, and because of our recent experience, Cheryl thought of us. We got a call the day the baby was born, asking if we wanted to adopt. Although the baby we lost was a girl, and this new baby was a boy, we had a sense that we should proceed and adopt the boy.
We have two birth children, and three adopted children. Of all our five children, this boy who came from out of nowhere has the most pleasant disposition. He is always optimistic, friendly, singing to himself, and simply fun to be with. His teachers and others are always commenting to us what a remarkable child he is. He became a Christian at an early age, and he loves the Lord. He is simply a joy to have as a child, and we consider him (as we do all our children) a gift from God. We will celebrate his 9th birthday this Sunday.
I share these things with you, not knowing you, because I believe God allowed me to have that dream last night to bring all this to memory. And then I saw Cheryl’s email below with the news of your tragedy. We don’t know how God will work in your circumstances, but I am convinced of one thing – He will work in your circumstances. And, in His way, He will eventually turn this sorrow into joy. Please be encouraged – He will bring comfort as only He can. And you never know ho He will use this in your life and your birth mom’s life. We will be in prayer for you and the birth mom.
In Him,
Bruce Clutter